Retirement Talk
WHAT to do with the rest of your life? |
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Episode 138 Retirement and Reunions
High in the Chugach Mountains overlooking
Anchorage
,
Cook Inlet and land as far north as
Mount
Denali
, my friends from
days of work built a beautiful house. He was a physics teacher and they wanted
to build an energy efficient place. He built double outside walls out of 2x6s
all around with a one foot dead airspace in between. He jokingly claimed that
when he was done he would be able to heat it with a hair-dryer. He installed an
air exchange system so inside air could exchange warm molecules with colder air
being brought into the house. He allowed massive crawl spaces so that pipes and
wires could easily be reached for repair or rearrangement. The house was
perched on this piece of property with a million dollar view. A few weeks ago
they graciously held a large party for retired faculty members. I attended with
high hopes of seeing old friends, this unusual house and the incredible view.
This is retirement talk. I’m Del Lowery.
I had never attended any kind of reunion. It is not
something that has ever appealed to me. Thinking more closely, I now remember
that I did attend a massive breakfast at my high school for alumni one summer
when I happened to be back home. I guess that sort of counts. There were
classes members from perhaps a sixty year spread there so I had no connection
to most people. It wasn’t, “my class reunion”.
This reunion in
Alaska
was for faculty members, spreading over a thirty to forty year period; again,
not a class reunion, but a reunion of type. I knew many of the people. Brenda
accompanied me as she knew the hosts and a few others. We decided to take my
bicycle so that she could take the car and leave any time she wanted. I would
be free to mingle without feeling that she was being left out. Then I could
enjoy the 15 to 20 mile ride back to our son’s house which was downhill most of
the way. Brenda stayed for about an hour.
It was nice to see some of the folks there. However, few of
the faculty had been close friends in days gone by. Most people were “Hello,
how are you?” type friends; coworkers, passing in the halls. We traded casual
comments back then and there was no reason to expect anything different now.
“Where do you live? How many grandchildren do you have?” Or there was the more
than expected statements concerning bad knees or steel parts placed in their bodies. Pleasantries
exchanged, we would move on to someone else. I remember feeling like they knew
nothing of what my life was really like. And as well, I knew little of theirs.
There was one couple there whom we had met two nights
earlier for dinner. We see them once a year whenever we visit
Alaska
. We know the names of their children
and what shape their lives have taken. They know the names of our children and
what they are doing. We keep in touch with Christmas Cards and our annual
rendezvous in
Anchorage
.
During the reunion we hardly talked. I think they were trying to give us time
to visit with others.
The thing that stood out from the reunion: it all took place
in the garage and driveway. Don’t get me wrong. This was summer, but summer in
Alaska
, and high on a mountain.
It was cold. This house with a million dollar view has the garage built on the
back side with a drive leading in off the road behind the house. I never saw
the front of the house or the million dollar view. I never saw anyone enter the
house. Even a port-a-potty had been rented and placed at the end of the drive.
I’m not sure why all of this was so. I do know that back in the
Midwest
it is common to hold big gatherings in the
garage. Tables and chairs can be set up and rearranged with some ease. But, I
still have a hard time figuring it out.
My idea of getting a tour of this house and a description of
how living in the house had worked out over the last twenty-five years never
materialized. I did get to talk to the host for a couple of minutes and the
house seemed to live up to his expectations. But our conversation was cut short
and I never got past the heating bill. Not much luck. Next time I am in
Alaska
I am going to
call him and perhaps meet over coffee or dinner and truly catch up.
I did get to talk to a few former colleagues and that was
fun. But our time always seemed short and conversations rushed. Someone else
would join us and the conversation would shift. There was no time to develop
any sort of meaningful exchange. I would like to have had an hour or two with
several of them in a one on one
conversation. That would have been great.
At any rate: my reunion experience was not the best. Perhaps
it is my own fault for not mingling more than I did, or being more outgoing. I
have never been high on attending the usual cocktail party. I am not good at
standing around with a drink in my hand and making small talk. But, I wished I
could have had that view and the descriptive tour of the house.
I have talked to other people who love reunions. They go
every chance they get. Like most things in life, I suppose a lot of the value
of reunions depends on the expectations and actions of the participants. Not
comfortable putting myself forward in these kinds of situations I came away a
bit disappointed. I hopped on my bike. Then came a real rush.
This is Retirement Talk.
A resource from a listener: Best Free Online Degrees for Seniors guide is designed to assist seniors who aspire to enhance their intellect or consider starting a new career path. It features an overview of the top online degrees for seniors, emphasizing their numerous advantages, and a broad range of subjects to choose from.
A friend's website: Terra Firma Designs: Fine Furniture, Stained Glass and woodworking workshops.
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